'MERICA

Alas, I did not make it to the gym yesterday. 

Believe me, I was doing more important things (like finding out Victor is coming north for the Tennessee game this weekend!!!). But really - I had a good excuse. 

I ate like a champ on Day 9 of the cleanse.

I showed you my breakfast. 

I also devoured a Think Thin bar, mini carrots, 27 gallons of water, some meat (Viking style) and this scrumptious meal:

If I've said it once, I've said it twice (because it was a classic Niki moment), but she treated me to a feast of shrimp, brown rice, onion, bell pepper...and maybe a splash of TJ's Spicy Peanut Vinaigrette. 

She also dressed up for the occasion...

My friends and I are very fancy. 

But we do not all fit into our prom dress from 2005. 

I have one word for that and it starts with a B and ends with an itch.

While Niki slaved away making dinner, I did a little meal prep for a stew I started this morning (because 90 degree weather calls for nothing less).

Cubed steak/beef/cow?, onion, celery, garlic, potatoes, and carrots.

My coworker, Jen, does this a lot and I'm always salivating over her food at work so I thought I'd give it a go. 

I've really got nothing to lose (other than my street cred).

I talked Niki into a rom com after we watched, like, 8 previews for other movies. 

When you're pissing your pants at a movie preview and you live alone - and you have no balls - you opt out of the movie that will have you crying in the bathtub at 4am, convinced a murderer is under your bed. 

The boogie man ain't just for kids, folks. 

Anyway. We watched The Big Wedding (it's possible that's not what it was called...I never claimed to know everything). 

But it was the one with Diane Keaton and Susan Sarandon and Katherine Heigle and other people. I loved it...& Niki dealt with it. 

I did paroose through the IG after the movie and found out what my friend, Levi, would look like if he was black:

Thanks Kris Jenner! You can be my momager any day if I can have a butt like Khloe. 

I finally laid down around 10:45. 

Y'all. That is like 3 hours passed my bedtime. I don't know who I am anymore!

When I woke up, I got my crockpot started for my stew. There's nothing like cracking a 22 at 6:30am - I added a Hef and Beef Broth to my previous concoction.

Then it was off to make myself look presentable. Instead I burnt the shit out of my finger. 

No worries, I alerted the press (everyone at work) that I was a burn victim and in serious pain. 

They supplied me with ointment, band aids, & unconditional love...as they should. 

Since I was busy losing a finger this morning, I didn't get to do my make up:

Bare faced and f*cking fabulous. 

My Spark arrived today (you can only imagine my disappointment yesterday). I nearly kissed the Fed Ex guy - but he's an ultra weirdo & actually creeps me out. 

I mixed it up and went with mango strawberry instead of my usual fruit punch. 

I feel more like a grown up now. 

Oh! Is anybody interested in hand made Duck gear?

My BFF has a friend who makes these little diddy's:

Super cute, super spirited. 

And Rosalie & I get to be twinners so my life is pretty much complete. 

If you're into being THE BEST DUCK FAN EVER, let me know & I'll hook you up. 

Welp...because blogging on the clock isn't enough, I'm off to the bathroom to do my make up. 

I should be getting a promotion any day now...

Peace, love, 'MERICA.
^^Seriously though, 9/11 is on my mind today...and not to get all political (or whatever), but there have been moments when I am proud to say "this land is my land" and today is one of them.