Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo

Happy Monday.
I saw a rainbow this morning on my drive to work - in the midst of charcoal gray clouds.
It was like a gay was shining down on me & it made me smile.

Friday was a success.
I ate ok and I got my booty back in the gym.

Prettttttty attractive. I especially love my hair.

 

When I got back to my office, I was far, far too lazy to change, so I paraded around in my workout gear with Uggs.

Hot diggity.

 

When I got home, I started a fun little project.

Did I take before pictures? NOPE. But I did take these for you:

 





I love the pop of color in my kitchen.
I also want to spray paint EVERYTHING in my house now...including my carpet.
So........
Oh and a word to the wise...maybe wear gloves & a mask when you decide to spray paint:

I spent most of Friday/Saturday with my hand like this.

Yes, it is always that fat.

And there's a blue booger for you.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

My BFF Sarah Marie hung out with me Friday evening.
I'm sure you saw our pretty tragic epic videos we posted to Facebook.
I imagine ESPN will be calling any day to have us contribute our resources to their repertoire.
Saturday morning I woke up with a plan - Laundry. Treadmill.

So I did just that.

Gorgeous, right?

 

Don't worry. I went to Trader Joe's MOMENTS after I took this pic.

 

After I got my fix at TJ's, I came home and showered.

And then this lovely lady showed up:

Her name is Sarah, too.

We'll call her Devah so you aren't confused.

Also, Dev...Best. Face. Ever.

 

 

We palled around town. Eating food...picking up men (not)...laughing pretttttty hard.

I think we left our mark on Eugene this weekend (too bad it won't remember...).

Just an FYI - if you ever come visit me, I'll most likely put you to work - doing things like helping me with a gallery wall:

I love it. I want to add more, but it's a great start!

 

Saturday night it was game time & I was actually SO HAPPY to not be at Autzen.

It was the perfect night to sit on my couch in jammies watching the Ducks lay a smack down on Cal.

We had a romantic fire...



 

And Devah was SUPER involved in the game:

It was pretty hard calming this down ^^

 

Turns out another friend of ours was in town.

Let's call her Kenz...cuz that is her name.

Anyway, she is (by far) cooler than me - and Dev  - and likes to "live it up" at the worst bar in town, Taylor's.

This is how happy I was to go:

Let me talk about our experience at Taylor's for a second.
1. I got hit on for the first time EVER in my LIFE. It went a little something like this:

 

Guy: Hey, how are you?

Me: Great, how are you?

Guy: Good, how are you?

Me: ...Great...?...(walks away)

 

2. And then Devah got hit on...

 

Guy: Hey, how old are you? 27? 28?

Dev: 25.......How old are you?

Guy: Guess!

Dev: 21.

Guy: (Blown away) How did you know that?

Dev: Because you look way too f**king happy to be in this bar.

 

NAILED IT.

 

But we did get this cute pic of the 3 of us:

By cute I mean, semi-blurry and we all have red eyes.

Winning.

 

Devah and I peaced out because I was throwing a mini-tantrum (THAT'S HOW I DO).

We went home and went to bed - sober - like good little 28 year olds do.

Niki was kind enough to wake me up around 8:30am on Sunday because she didn't have the emergency number for our apartment complex. Neither did I.

I got out of bed and hightailed it to the couch where I received a text message from Dev (who was in the next room. LAZY.):

Pretty much.

 

After some more palling around, Dev gifted me the best thing EVER.

Access to her Netflix account.

I then successfully spent 9 hours on my couch watching Vampire Diaries.

ADDICTED.

I also did some research and have decided who my next boyfriend will be:

 

Paul + Michelle = LOVE.

Don't worry, the above biatch is out of the picture.

 

After successfully falling in love with a fictional character who is a vampire - no less - my girl finally got home!

Ugh. I miss that goose when she's away for more than like, an hour.

 

We spent our evening snuggling, reading "The Little Engine that Could" and counting things.

Wouldn't have it any other way!

 

Now, here it is Monday again and I managed to shower and apply make up.

Plus blow dry and straighten my hair.

Put it together and what do you got:

Bibbidi bobbidi boo.





 

Goodbye & goodnight!











 





Crapping a finger & St. John's Wort.

You guys. It literally looked like I crapped out a finger yesterday.
If it was at all socially acceptable to post pics of poo (good alliteration) on your blog, you would be staring at a photo of poop - that looked like a human finger.

I did not make it to the gym yesterday.
I really don't know what my problem is. I think it's stress. I think that's an excuse.
Grr.

Little known fact about me: the song "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias has been stuck in my head since MTV's "Making the Video" premiered it.
That's a long time to have a bad song stuck in your head. My friend Rachel even karaoked it for me on my 21st birthday.
Why do you care? BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO TODAY AND HAD A FULL BLOWN WAYNE'S WORLD/BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY MOMENT.
Good times.

RIP mole. I miss you.

Last night a friend and I met for dinner at BJs because we both had gift cards!

I know what you're thinking - THANKS FOR THE PIC OF THE GIFTCARD (wtf is the matter with her?)...

 

I managed to take a picture of the gift card, but not the food?

Probably because within seconds I devoured EVERYTHING on my plate.

That's actually not true - I didn't eat half the bun on my pulled pork sandwich and dumped pepper all over the remainder of my fries.

Let's call it a win.

 

Another problem in my life?

I blame this on Jill (she bought the mega bag!!!).

Also, Sarah Dev: you're welcome for the 2nd pic of my stripper calculator.

 

I really don't know what my issue is. I have been unmotivated for a week now.

I haven't worked out in a week. I've been eating like shit for a week.

And you know what?

I have had awful tummy issues, lacked energy, been pretty moody and even overslept today...

 

Wet hair does care.

 

I need to get off this gravy train (mmm, gravy) and back in the saddle!

Speaking of saddles...

Check out Rosalie this morning with her awesome babysitter (and friend), Jaime, who is a doll and brought me a latte today!

 

I really don't know how she is SO cute.

Oh wait, it's because of me (bahaha).

 

Remember how I told y'all I was getting some Primrose Oil?

Well because the entire world of 18 year olds moved to Eugene yesterday for college, both Walmart & Target had me dodging Californians for my life.

Needless to say, I gave up right quick and grabbed some St. Johns Wort to "enhance my mood".

 

3x a day, preferably with a meal (you don't have to tell me twice).

(3rd pic of stripper calc. Dang it, Samantha)

 

I'll let you know how that one works out.

 

In other news. I am starting a project tonight!

It will be a surprise, but I am excited to do something "creative".

I'll stay up all night, bang on some bongos and smoke rolled tobacco cigarettes while sipping herbal tea. Hell, I may even pick up a beret! WATCH OUT WORLD.

 

Aaaaaand last, but most definitely not least........

My friend Sarah is coming to visit in the morning!!!

We have big plans, including our gurl Chard, "trolling for men", a gallery wall, 5+ trips to The Boy, and me yelling at the Duck game while she sits on the couch.

Should be a great time!

If anyone is looking to eat and/or flirt, holler at your girl(s).

 

Alright, I'm out like overalls (get it? a fashion trend that's "out"?).



 





 



 

 

To have love & lost or to have never loved at all?

Blog title says it all.
I think I know I would rather not have loved at all.
Don't even try to convince me otherwise - I've already argued with 3 of my good friends about this very subject and I am old (25) & set in my ways.
So. There you have it. Michelle Hiskey, hashtag spinsterforlife.

In other news, Rosalie is doing so much better & I couldn't be more relieved.
Her momma, on the other hand, is eating like a pig and sitting on her ass like a cow.
I mean, look how attractive I am nowadays:

My bedtime attire last night.

 

My work attire this morning.

 

I've really got to stop putting so much effort into how I look.

Hashtag getyourshittogetherhiskey.

 

A friend of mine recommended some Primrose Oil to calm my crazy.

I'm gonna get my ass over to Walmart today (because what is a more soothing place for crazy people?) and pick some up.

But I'm also going to get on a treadmill & run until I die.

Hopefully that'll take care of my copious problems (breakup, financial stress, pneumonia ridden toddler, dead car battery, PEOPLE WHO ARE BAT SHIT CRAZY, sick friends, arguments with exes, & listening to "Roar" on repeat - all the live long day).

 

Also, I was going to make a Katniss Everdeen/Primrose/Hunger Games joke...

But I'm feeling lazy, so do it yourself!

 

LATER.



 

 

Poop Emoji's

WORST TUMMY ACHE EVER.
And I'd like to personally apologize to my coworker Jill. I'm sure you can all imagine why (...why doesn't Blogger have Emoji's like the iPhone? My little poop Emoji would be perfect right about now).

Moving on.

Rosalie stayed with her dad last night.
It's hard being away from her when she is so sick.
But she did really well and is feeling much better. So thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
She's my little trooper.

Before her dad picked her up yesterday, I caught her on camera:

She sat on the toilet forever like this.

It was cute & I felt inclined to share.

 

I went & pulled my laundry out of the dryer yesterday. Turns out NONE of it was dry.



...I have this to look forward to at home. Holla.

When S picked Ro up, a few friends picked me up and we headed to the mall.
I stopped in Buckle (which I never shop at) and tried on some "bling butt" jeans.
My friends were making fun of me for wanting a pair - they didn't realize WTF I was doing there.
And then it hit me - I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER been able to fit into clothes in those stores (i.e Buckle, Hollister, Abercrombie). So, when I pulled up (and buttoned) a size 29 jean, I was pretty freaking stoked.
I didn't buy them ($139? pshhhhhhhh), but I left feeling really proud.

After the mall we stopped so my friend could play pool.
My gal pal (you're welcome Rachel) and I made a list of what we are looking for in men:

Everything we came up with applied to both of us, hence the arrows to the second column.

On the flip side was a list of red flags.

It was fun.

PS This friend was not Rachel, I was just giving Rach crap for saying "gal pals".

 

I got home pretty late and went to bed. With my laundry.

I woke up roughly 800 times thinking Rosalie was with me. I could really use a good night's rest.

Needless to say, I put as minimal amount of effort as possible into today's "look":

 

Prettiest girl in the world.

 

Oh. And in case any of you are wondering - I am eating like shit & not working out.

Things are going well.

PEACE.

 



 

 

Pneumonia

I miss blogging! But I got me a super sick little bb who is occupying my every minute. 

I'm gonna throw some photos your way with some captions. Maybe you'll feel like you're sitting on the couch watching Doc McStuffins with Rosalie & I. 

Just please bring your own Strawberry Shortcake blanket and apple juice. We are in short supply. 

(Unless your name is Niki, then you bring me bacon.)

I worked out Friday! Which is good news since I have been eating my weight in sourdough toast ever since. 

Friday night Rosalie and I went to dinner at Dana's. This little f**ker came along too. 

Saturday we went to Buddy's. I ate almost all of Niki's potatoes because they were soaked in butter. Bring it on, clogged arteries. 

Then we stopped at Target for the essentials. The girls got pretty tired. Slackers. 

Ro & I spent the rest of Saturday watching football & the rain. The perfect first day of Fall!

Oh and this is funny:

Sunday morning we had a "horseback riding lesson" AKA convince Rosalie horses aren't scary. Here are some pics:

Rosalie actually did really well. My aunt and I are going to bring her back every other weekend. 

Giddy up, cowgal. 

When we got home I could tell Rosalie really wasn't feeling well. She took about a four hour nap. 

I cried on the couch for a while:

No explanation other than I am a crazy person. 

Then I ate some food...

Two of my meals this weekend. But they were pretty much on repeat because they are so good. 

Go buy goat cheese medallions. I'll wait. 

Monday we woke up and I knew Rosalie needed to go to the DR.

She has pneumonia. And if any of you have watched your child put into the X-ray contraption that stops them from moving, my heart breaks for you. 

Looking at the fishies at the doctors office (btw when Ro says fishies it sounds like feces. FUNNY).

My sick little doll. 

Just resting up. 

I'm home again with her today, but she'll be with her dad tomorrow. 

I think she has 2 people who love her like mad. Get well my baby!

Happy worst day of the week. Holla at ya gurl. 

Friday Finale: Rapper's Delight

I have had The Sugarhill Gang on repeat all flipping week.
I said, a hip hop the hippie the hippie / To the hip hip hop, a you don't stop / The rock it to the bang, bang...
You guys should see my dance moves when I'm driving down Beltline. Two words: sex appeal.

In other news...
FRIDAY FINALE!

Weight this morning:

152.6

Boooo.

 

A couple of thoughts on this:

1. I didn't work out from Friday-Wednesday. What am I doing!? I know I was sick, but come on Hiskey. Suck it up.

2. Cheat days are Saturday 7pm-Sunday 7pm. Not Tuesdays from 4-6 & Wednesdays 8-9. Get your shit together.

3. Maybe don't walk to Ben & Jerry's and share popcorn with your daughter?

 

 

 

In reality - I want to eat ice cream when I want to eat ice cream.

And if Rosalie finds it necessary to shove a few kernels of p-corn down my pie hole, who am I to deny her?

I love eating healthy & fueling my body right, but I also love indulging and treating myself when I kick ass throughout the day. But maaaaybe I shouldn't treat myself with the large, 2 scoop bowl of ice cream (I WAS SHARING IT) (WITH A TWO YEAR OLD)...I just believe in moderation.

However, I'm not going to miss out on the last trip to B&J's of the summer.

My kiddo isn't always going to want to hold my hand & walk to ice cream with her momma.

We'll see what this next week brings us.
I have faith in me. Because Katy Perry tells me so.

In other news, Sarah has gone off the deep end.
I had to stop by her place last night to check her bedroom for any demons that may be haunting her.
No more scary movies for you girlie.
Luckily I got a cuddle sesh with my boyfriend:

B$

 

Well. That's another one for the books.

I got big plans this weekend with my gurl. Look for me Monday with a posting on dinner with Dana, doing laundry with Rosalie, & riding miniature ponies with Aunt Myra.

We gettin' cray up in hurr.

 

I thought I was really sexy when I winked at men. Guess not?

 

Happy Friday, enjoy this bye with some relaxation (ahem, Sarah Maria, ahem).