Food.

Today I'm going to bitch about food.

But first I'm going to start with:

I. LOVE. FOOD.

Like, really really really love food.

Unfortunately, it loves me too. It loves my ass, my hips, my thighs, my 2nd and 3rd chin and the tire I have wrapping around my waist.

I know what I have to do when I try and lose weight. Yes, working out is helpful - but for me: it's about food. My eating habits have never been good and if I screw up, it's a slippery slope right back to 196.

It all started Friday. I ate Vietnamese food. BRING ON THE MSG! SODIUM! CARBS! OILS! FAAAATTT!!
And then? Let's stop at TCBY! Why the hell not?

Saturday was fine. Although I probably consumed close to 6 hundo cals. from alchie.

Sunday: Hung.Over. Hi, Red Robin! It's mighty fine to see you and your fries again!

Monday? Taco night at the "in-laws"! Let's throw a brownie into the mix and see what happens (FYI: diarrhea happens).

Tuesday...it was ok...minus the carbs.

WEDNESDAY? HOW ABOUT 2 SLICES OF PEPPERONI-SAUSAGE PIZZA AND A PIZZA "ROLL UP" (whatever the hell that is) FOR LUNCH? DON'T MIND IF I FREAKING DO!

You see where I'm going with this? I have a problem with food.

I weighed myself this morning (163.5). Luckily I have been putting in 2-a-days (gym time/Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred) - but it's not the point. I can work out and maintain these low 160s, but that's not what I'm striving for. I'm striving to be the best I can be and to look the best I've ever looked. I'm getting married for Christ sake! I have a kid that needs a healthy mom! I have a closet full of cute clothes just waiting to adorn my bangin' bod!

I'm here to tell you that no matter what - the fat girl will always live on. And if I give myself an inch (when it comes to food), I take a mile. It's a pathetic addiction. It's a HIGH. And then at the end of the day, all you're left with is greasy fingers and an overly full belly. 

I never thought this would be easy, but I never imagined it would be this hard. I know how good it feels to eat clean and work out and go to bed at night and rest easy because I've treated my body like a queen. I also know how bad it feels to be so miserable because you've stuffed yourself with LARD. I guess it's moments like these where you get another little wake-up call.

The hardest part is not punishing myself.
Not crying. Or wanting to puke it all up (which I have never done nor do I advocate this behavior, but it'd be a lie to say I've never thought about it). Or becoming so upset with yourself that you binge eat again.
I still have the rest of the day to be good and eat well and do what I know I need to do.
And I will, gentle readers, I will.

So...there's a little insight into the mind of a fatty.

^^Don't fret about that remark - luckily I still have a SH*T TON of motivation to do this and I know I will :) Just another part of the journey...

Until next time!

162.5

Sooo, in the midst of Aunt Flo's visit, I braved the scale to confirm what I saw the other day...

Yes folks: I weigh 162.5.

I'm creeping up on the 150s and I could not be more thrilled. I made a couple of purchases today:


This Danskin waist trimmer belt - because Michelle got one and I have to do everything she does.


And this Pyle heart rate/calorie monitor. I have been wanting one of these for a while. I'm going to start Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred this weekend and wanted to be able to track my calorie burn. Plus, I don't feel as if the machines are accurate at the gym - and I'm having trouble tracking calorie burn during weight lifting. I was eyeballing some spendier heart rate/calorie monitors, but found this little doozie on Amazon for around $25. The reviews were pretty good, so we'll see!

I so wish today was Friday, but alas, it is not. So let's all be extra kind to each other folks, for this is one LONG ASS WEEK.

Peace out.

ALMOST Friday

Hello my pretties. 

Couple of landmarks:

1.      I weigh 164 pounds. I haven’t seen that number in over 3 years.

2.      I tried spaghetti squash for the first time. Ohhhhhh. Myyyyyy. Godddddd.

3.      Mama Laughlin liked another Instagram post of mine (I know, I’m famous)

After binge eating last Saturday, I have been on my A game (except for last night…whooooops). Working out every day, eating right, and drinking a sh*t ton of water. So, when I hopped on the scale the other morning I was ready for results! Albeit, I was slightly panicked after ingesting the entire city of New York on moving day. But alas, MOSTLY healthy choices prevailed and I was down a pound!

Holla.

 

This week, one of my besties came by to cook dinner with me. I've had a wild hair up my butt about trying to make spaghetti squash for a while now. SO. We went to Winco and grabbed a spaghetti squash (actually 2 because they were miniscule and Hogan was eating), yellow zucchini, green zucchini, red bell pepper, red onion, reduced fat Feta cheese, and Turkey Kielbasa. We cooked the spaghetti squash via the directions on the sticker (microwaved), roasted the veggies in the oven, and cooked up the kielbasa on a frying pan.

 

HOLY. CRAP.

 

I am not kidding. Get off your ass, stop reading my blog, and go get you a spaghetti squash. IT WAS SO GOOD. LIKE, SO GOOD. And healthyyyyyyyyyyyy!

 

 

I'm licking the screen...

 

And lastly, after the gym today I hit up Target for this yummy creation:

 

I also grabbed some new conditioner because I'm running low. So of course, I checked out www.mamalaughlin.com and found that she uses Aussie 3 Minute Miracle, so I obvi had to snag some (literally, $2.84). Needless to say, I posted in on Instagram *because who doesn't post their conditioner on Instagram?? AND SHE LIKED IT! God, I'm good.



Evidence (baller status).

 

And last, but not least - because my kid is cuter than yours (FACT) (Aaaand my face looks skinny):

 

Peace out bitches.



For my fans...

So, I'm gonna update you on my weekend (and how GOD AWFUL I was), but first I found out that I have a fan.
Yes, one.
Hogan's good friend, Austin, bopped by a family birthday party yesterday and told me that his wife LIKES TO READ MY BLOG.
HAHA SUCKAS.
I have a fan. So cheers to you Stephanie VanBeever!

Ok, back to the juicy shit.
We moved this weekend and for some reason a red flag went off in my head that said: Eat like shit! And I did, gentle readers, I did.
Let me just confess to you how bad I was:

-TWO donuts
-sausage, cheese, biscuit sandwich
-Diet Coke (haven't had pop in almost 2 months)
-BBQ'd chicken (fine), Caesar salad (ok), HALF A LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD (not. good.)
**Oh, and let's not forget the copious amounts of GF tortilla chips I shoveled in my mouth covered in some sort of fake cheese concoction.
-And then, top it off with half a bottle of wine.

^^See, the fat kid still lives on. I haven't killed her yet.

Also, please note the gluten I consumed. I nearly shit my pants Sunday morning.

But we got all moved into our new place and it's gorg. I love it.

Sunday we went to Shawn's niece's birthday party. His cousin, McKenna, brought her hot, football player boyfriend so I got semi-pretty (basically as good as it gets), but alas, WAS NEVER INTRODUCED.
NBD, I'm over it (not).

 

I clean up nicely! It's a rare occasion, though. Sorry babe.

 



 

Also: my daughter is like me. To convince her to do anything you have to pretty much bribe her with sugar. Here is Aunt Dana doing just that!

 

 

To sum it up: I hate moving, but I'm glad it's over.

I stuck to my diet pretty good yesterday and drank a boat-load of water to help with the poufy-ness (aka bloating) -- thanks Rach.

Well, I should probably act like I'm doing something - I am at work ;)

 

PS I have no internet at my house right now, so MFP friends - don't fret! I will update at work :)

 

Lataz.

Instagram Success Story

 <---This is me today (3-4/13) weighing in at a cool 165 lbs. And that's after a Saturday night that included multiple drinks and (gasp) a trip to Taco Bell...my weakness.

                                                        ----->   
This is me in September 2012. Weighing at a beastly 196ish lbs.

**Please note the pretty, skinny girls I'm standing next to, just for scale. We're all about the same height, I'm just outweighing them by 1 millions pounds.   






Another gasp-worthy moment - I did not work out this weekend :( :(
I did however cut 6 inches off of my hair so I'm assuming that made up for any extra weight I may have gained.
Saturday my FIANCE and I went to Rye for dinner. IT WAS DELISH. Everyone MUST go there. And order the chevre frites (sp) - it's basically deep fried goat cheese goodness.
And yes, I ate gluten.
And yes, I paid dearly for it. Sorry tummy.

Here is my love & I out to eat. Such a wonderful time.

 

And here it is, back to Monday. Ughhhh. We're moving this week - all the big stuff goes on Saturday.

If you'd like to volunteer yours or your man's muscles, I will provide sufficient alcohol.

 

 

 

Ok y'all - I know it's hard to read, but above is a pic from my Instagram. I posted my goal dress (found at kikilarue.com) - it's a size 6/8. Let's just say it doesn't come down over my boobs. NBD, that I'll rock that sh*t come summa time. But GUESS WHAT! Both Mama Laughlin (mamalaughlin.com) and Skinny Meg (missmadisonscharmedlife.blogspot.com) liked and commented on it. I had an absolute COW. I was literally taking a bath with Ro when I saw it and started hollering at Shawn. He came rushing in (probably thinking there was a serious, life threatening emergency) - he wasn't all that excited. But those ladies are such an insane inspiration to me. I felt like Jennifer Aniston pulled up next to me at a stop light and complimented my purse or something. EPIC.

Well folks, back to work! Another day another dolla.

 

Holla.