The Last One.

This is it folks.
This is the last blog I'm going to post about my overwhelming sadness.
The last one I will mention my break up.
The last one that I will discuss Shawn.
That I will discuss our failed attempt at a life together.
Because I am turning a new leaf.
I have got to stop this identity crisis and start loving myself again. Because that is what this is.
Being with Shawn was a huge part of my identity & now being a part from him has become my identity. Who wants their identity to be broken hearted & bitter?
Show of hands....?
No one? Ok.

I had a huge ol' chat with my therapist yesterday and she told me my thinking was starting to become obsessive.
She's not wrong.
So here is what I implore all of you readers to do...

Keep me accountable!

 

What does this mean?

It means if I start going off the deep end, remind me that this is not who I am nor is the person I want to be.

It means when I cry, make me laugh.

When I sit & eat 15 chocolate cookies from Trader Joe's, make me work out.

When I listen to "Stronger" by Sarah Evans on repeat, turn.the.fucking.song.off.

But most of all, help me remember that my identity doesn't tie directly to anybody but myself.

And that is a beautiful thing.

 

Lastly - I've managed to convince myself that I'm a pretty worthless piece of shit.

But that happens when you go through what I did with my break up.

So (and laugh if you want), I'm starting some positive affirmations.

My therapist gifted me this little card yesterday & I think I'm going to carry it around until I believe it and until I do it.

 

Front

Back

 



This may seem silly to some (hell, it's kind of silly to me) - but I believe in the power of my mind and I WILL OVERCOME THIS.

I have no other choice.

 

So there you have it.

That's the last one.