Let's blow this popsicle stand!

Been a day or two since I blogged. But I'm here to tell you: even God rested on the 7th day.

I have a problem.
When I text people, I find myself looking for the italic button or the cross shit out button.
COME ON iOS 7! You didn't think of that shit, but you provided me with a poop emojii?
And also...what person in their right mind brings up the poop emojii twice in a 10 day span on their blog?
I bet you all missed me like CRAAAAY (Jill: that means crazy).

Not a lot has happened to me recently/everything has happened to me recently.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm ok...remarkably. My brain feels like it weighs about a million pounds, but it feels like a vacant, hollow space at the same time.
IRONY FOLKS. IRONY.

What is going to be the result of my brain problems?
A really random, dumb blog.
I'll be available for autographs from 4-7 pm on Nov 1, 2015.

Wanna see something funny that I relate to? (sure ya do!):

Bahaha.

 

Yesterday we had a potluck. The theme? CHILI.

 

My bumhole has remained pretty quiet. I'm waiting for the explosion.

 

So. I love my hair. It takes me 4 minutes from wet to styled and as a single mom, what more could I ask for?

However - as a single mom who is rocking "mom hair" I lack some SERIOUS sex appeal.

So during the winter months (which is the majority of the year), I'll grow it and then hack it off come summmma time. Sound good Davidson?

Here's my ultimate goal:

 

So pretty.

I even want the side bang.

And mayyybe the color? RISKY BIDNESS.

 







You know how it is when your 25, single & broke?
Welcome to my world. It's really tragic when you're looking for some killer-boots & find the perfect pair:

But then you realize they're Tory Burch and cost $400.

That's cute.

NOPE.

 

In other news, Levi came by last night.

I force fed him some chili (because I. Am. Sick. Of. Chili.) and then maaayybe sat him down for some Vampire Diaries.

He was pretty into it...

Maybe he was weirded out by my drooling over Stefen.

Whatevz.

 

You can see I have been up to greatness lately.

People are pretty jealous of my cool life.

Here's a damn selfie for y'all because no bloggy-blog would be complete without it:

 

GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE GYM, HISK!

 

One more day 'til I can blow this popsicle stand.

I'm ready!