The Break Up

Well. I was MIA from Facebook & now I'm back.
I was MIA from this blog & now I'm back.
I've been MIA from life (I feel), but now I'm trying to get back.

I wrote a blog a week or so ago & deleted it because I thought things might change.
But they didn't.

I'm not trying to get attention or ask for sympathy or be a bitch by writing this today.
This little blog has become like a diary, if you will.
Count me out as the new Taylor Swift - I'm not trying to air my dirty laundry.
BUT: Shawn & I broke up.

There are lots & lots & lots of details...but I guess it's really nobody's business.
You guys...
I am so sad.
Every moment of every day.

Does anybody remember Valentines Day 2013?
I do.
Shawn asked me to marry him & now I sit here on July 3, 2013 & I have lost everything.
My best friend, my fiancé, my first & only love, my partner, my lover, and the father of my child.
My everything.

People keep telling me I'm so strong & it's for the best.
Well excuse me, but they're WRONG.
No one is strong when it comes to this shit.
This is the weakest I've ever felt in my life.
I keep waking up in the morning, like, ok! Today is the day I'm going to be FINE!
NOPE.

I don't even bother with mascara anymore - there is no freaking point.

Wow - this is a really sad post. I'm sorry!
I hope that I can get back to normal some day...
Be Michelle again. Probably not the same Michelle.
Hopefully a stronger, happier, healthier Michelle.
Or I'll just be a raging alcoholic with a walking stick to hit people that piss me off with.
Time will tell.

In other news - I weigh 148.
Ya'll I am here to tell you - you wanna drop weight fast?
BREAK UP WITH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.
You won't ever be hungry again! Yay.
In all reality, I just can't even make myself eat, it's so weird.
I even bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's yesterday (the low-fat kind)...I ate some and it came right back out of me.
BLAH.
This sucks.

Shawn did give me the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I will forever be grateful for that.
My beautiful, smart, silly, sweet, kind, stubborn little girl.
She makes my heart heal just a little bit everyday.
I don't know where I'd be with out her.

I'll leave you with some pics of us, to show you that I am still managing to get out of bed in the morning.

What a little beauty.

 

So fly.

 

This was taken to emulate a pic my friend Jake took.

But I love her little feeties.

 

And then here's Rosalie.

Looking 18. WTH?

 

Well ladies & gents.

That's it...

If you believe in God, pray for me.

If you don't, keep me in your thoughts.

 

Until next time.