I think the typical answer is men.
(Or whatever sex your attracted to.) (I am so awesomely PC.) (That stands for politically correct.)
So when you are no longer with the person who gave you validation, your self-worth goes crashing down.
Among other reasons.
It's a tricky thing, ladies. Being comfortable in your own skin.
Feeling beautiful in your own skin.
Especially when you have to be the one to look in the mirror & say "damn girl, you look good".
It's not like that's going to get you laid.
But it might make you feel just a little bit more in control of your worth.
For like, a nano-second.
But embrace that nano-second & hang on tight.
(This still feels totally bazaar to say:) Being a single mom, I have to set an example for my little girl.
I can't sit around & cry in front of her or feel ugly &/or worthless (read: all of the above).
I've got to pull my shit together.
I have to (wait for it...) SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT.
You're welcome.
You know - I have a lot of good friends. I always have.
I have an amazingly supportive family.
And I have this little girl who brings light to my life.
THERE is my worth.
Now, I just to have to remember that.
When I feel blue - or am crying - or just feel like I'll never be happy again - I have to remember my worth.
My Auntie Joan said something to me yesterday that rang true - Try and look at yourself the way other people see you.
That got me thinking...how do people see me?
Short? Check.
Loud? Check.
Hilarious? CHECK.
Strong? Check.
Awesome taste in music? Duh.
^^^In all reality, I know that people see me differently from how I see myself.
What I project on the outside isn't necessarily what is happening on the inside.
But if I can hold on to the reins & let who I am on the exterior become who I am on the interior, I think I could be pretty proud of that person.
One of my favorite songs is by The Allman Brothers Band (people, Nicki Minaj is not music. Go listen to something worthwhile) is Soulshine:
"He used to say soul shine, it's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine, damn sure, better than rain
Hey, now people don't mind, we all feel this way sometimes
You got to let your soul shine, shine 'til the break of day."
Very fitting. Right?
(all in unison, now) RIGHT!
So. In light of self worth, I've taken the liberty (again) to photograph myself in the bathroom at work (it's really amazing I still have a job).
Still not wearing make up.
No judgement.
Got a pedicure yesterday.
Not all that glitters is gold.
Got some gel polish done too.
BECAUSE I WAS TREATING MYSELF.
Lay off!
In love with these shorts.
Just don't go spend $50 on them at Kiki La Rue.
They have them at Ross for like $13.
#fail #mommaneedsatan
Anyway folks, if you need me, I'll be over here trying to find my self-worth again.
Hope everyone had a happy & safe 4th of July.
No comments:
Post a Comment