Cranky Cleansing

Heya'll (one word, like Brangelina).

Yesterday I started my second 10 Day Advocare cleanse. All is fair in love and war, right? All should be freaking fair in cleansing. I was a bit raging b*tch yesterday.

Let's start with Sunday. I woke up (hung over) and made it to the grocery store looking like a SCRUB. I know what you meant TLC. I shopped for cleanse food & had resigned to make these egg muffin things. Basically: egg whites, turkey bacon, & spinach. Put in muffin pan and bake at 350 for around 20 minutes.

Disclaimer: I FREAKING HATE EGGS. I can count the amount of times I've eaten them & enjoyed them on one hand - and this is basically because Matty is a BAMF and cooks them in bacon & sausage grease with about a pound of cheese. Needless to say, they do not taste like chicken embryos, they taste like heaven.

^^This little bastard tastes like chewy dog sh*t

 

Waste of freaking money. Fast forward to Monday: I woke up at 7:10. I have to work at 8:00. This resulted in me looking like this:



    

Then I tasted my egg concoction and wanted to die.

 

Hence, the cranky cleanse.

 

I'm happy to report I am in much better spirits today. I have pooped twice - thanks to these bad boys:

 

Advocare Herbal Cleanse pills. PUSH THAT SH*T OUT.

 

 

And even thought I woke up at 6:00 this morning, I still managed to have a giant pimple! YAY.

 

I'm 25 freaking years old. NOT 15. Ugh.

 

Alas, gentle readers, I am doing well. Let's get serious for a minute:

 

I forget how much I really do love eating clean. My body responds so well to it. I know I'm only on Day 2, but I am just such a gigantic fan.

 

I'm seriously loving my new Brooks running shoes. It's like jogging on a cloud (but with more jiggling).

 

I have started a weight lifting regime to tame the wings (you know, the place on your arms where your triceps should be). Thanks Racho for the guidance.

 

And last, but not least - I've started stalking yet ANOTHER person on Instagram, and I ADORE HER HAIR. I have a hair appt. on May 11 and am thinking how nice short hair would be for summer. I would keep my color, but what do y'all think of her cut:

 







Ah. Of course the pic is way small. Mother trucker.

 

 

Anyway, I got werk to do (again, employee of the year...).

Peace & love.