Tuesday really is the worst day of the week.

Hello faithful followers! Let's jump right in, shall we?

I have already cheated pretty drastically on #noweighmay. I weighed in on Saturday (my 6th? day of the cleanse) and saw: 156.5 :)

When I started my cleanse I was 162.
Needless to say, I was pretty damn thrilled. So to celebrate I drank an entire bottle of wine.
#cleansefail
#reallystartingtolikehashtagging

I have #cleansefailed so many times this round of cleansing. It's pathetic. I was SO committed last time! What has happened to me??? Even when I'm making healthy recipes, I'm still #cleansefailing because I'm adding reduced fat feta CHEESE. UGH.

Gluten Free pasta (made of quinoa & corn), red bell pepper, purple onion, broccoli, red. fat feta, & fat free Kraft Zesty Italian Dressing. Great little summer pasta salad!

My parents came into town over the weekend and I was a tad indulgent. But it was so fun & so worth it, that I forgive myself. I mean, I'm in the 150s now people (I confirmed this morning - again #noweighmayfail (is anyone else tired of me hash tagging?))! So even though it hasn't been an award winning cleanse, I have definitely cleaned up my eating & that was my main goal anyway.

On Sunday, we took a little fambam trip to Fred Meyer. I took this group shot for y'all to admire:

Such an attractive family.

 

 

And I'm clearly running out of things to talk about, because here are some more pictures (a picture's worth a 1000 words, so back off):

 



And here's a pic of Ro and I this morning, for your enjoyment (look how effing tan I look!).

 

This little diddy is me sweating my balls off at the gym. Sweat towels are saucy. I may or may not have sent this to Rachel via text so she could enjoy the view (we don't do that everyday...).

 

I guess I could talk about a couple of other things, while I'm at it...

 

1. I CANNOT WAIT TO CHOP MY HAIR OFF SATURDAY! No one wants me to do it, but it's like HEY!, I'm still pretty with short hair. Haterz.

 

2. I ran to Walmart on my lunch today. Like actually ran. And my compression pants I got from Old Navy were literally falling off me (#skinnygirlproblems <---THERE IT IS AGAIN!). So not only was I running with a reusable bag full of salad, veggies, & an apple, but I was holding up my pants AND carrying my iPhone - all the while my headphone cord was whapping me in the face. It was not a pretty sight. And not a great run. But I did it.

 

3. Idk why I'm just mentioning this: I have officially lost 40 lbs. since I joined the gym in September! Woop woop. Another 25ish to go and I'll be HAPPYYYYY.

 

4. I'm campaigning to have Shawn buy me a Nike FuelBand for Mother's Day. So if you see him - tell him. In white.

 

5. Again, I really like lists.

 

Alright, I'm out like a gay man.

 

 

 

Bailing out at 4:15, seeing how long I can write.

Is that not the best title of a blog you've ever read?
Pound it.

Let's see...where did I last leave you? I think it was somewhere between cleansing and running (story of my life). So no surprise that that's what I'll probably talk about today. HOORAY.

I'm on Day 5 of the cleanse and I may or may not have had a drink and a few fries at lunch yesterday. IT WAS JILL'S BIRTHDAY, BLAME IT ON HER. My coworkers practically had my arms twisted and were TORTURING me. What would you have done? I know. Cleanse fail.

Lemon drop. Whoops.

 

After my minor slip up, I got myself right back on track and for dinner made roasted sweet potatoes, turkey kielbasa, and a big ass salad. No worries, I've pooed 4x today, so those fries are DUNZO (anybody remember that from Laguna Beach? Anybody? No? Ok.).

 

Another little tidbit - I am wearing shorts AND A FREAKING TANK TOP TODAY. The shorts are size 12 and the tank is a medium. Holla.

 

You don't need to compliment the photography skillz here, I already know.

 

I wish it was at all appropriate to post the things Rachel and I send to each other via text message. Y'all would love me EVEN MORE. You didn't think that was possible did you? If anyone is trying to lose weight/get healthy by themselves, I encourage you to reach out to your friends. I love having the support of one of my best friends on a day to day basis. And I think I can speak for both of us when I say a little healthy competition never hurt no one.

 

My parents are headed into town tomorrow afternoon and I'm looking forward to that. They're bringing the Labrador, Autzen, so I'm hoping we could go for a little fambam hike on Sunday. I think it's time for Ro to get a bigger appreciation of the great outdoors.

 

How is everyone (all 4 of you) doing with #noweighmay? I have been successful thus far (it's May 3rd). But I'm not gonna lie to you, I will be weighing in to check on my cleanse results. My friend Jaime and I met today at the gym for a quick mile run and some all of the weights in the gym. She too is on Day 5 of the cleanse and she's already down 6 lbs! Incredible. I am PRAYING to see those 150s. Fingers crossed!

 





Last but not least, I thought I'd show you this:

This is me before I got preggo with Rosalie.

 

This is me about a month ago.

Pretty cool, huh?

Well I've wasted a solid 10-15 minutes. Hope everyone enjoys this beautiful weekend. HOLLA.

Cranky Cleansing

Heya'll (one word, like Brangelina).

Yesterday I started my second 10 Day Advocare cleanse. All is fair in love and war, right? All should be freaking fair in cleansing. I was a bit raging b*tch yesterday.

Let's start with Sunday. I woke up (hung over) and made it to the grocery store looking like a SCRUB. I know what you meant TLC. I shopped for cleanse food & had resigned to make these egg muffin things. Basically: egg whites, turkey bacon, & spinach. Put in muffin pan and bake at 350 for around 20 minutes.

Disclaimer: I FREAKING HATE EGGS. I can count the amount of times I've eaten them & enjoyed them on one hand - and this is basically because Matty is a BAMF and cooks them in bacon & sausage grease with about a pound of cheese. Needless to say, they do not taste like chicken embryos, they taste like heaven.

^^This little bastard tastes like chewy dog sh*t

 

Waste of freaking money. Fast forward to Monday: I woke up at 7:10. I have to work at 8:00. This resulted in me looking like this:



    

Then I tasted my egg concoction and wanted to die.

 

Hence, the cranky cleanse.

 

I'm happy to report I am in much better spirits today. I have pooped twice - thanks to these bad boys:

 

Advocare Herbal Cleanse pills. PUSH THAT SH*T OUT.

 

 

And even thought I woke up at 6:00 this morning, I still managed to have a giant pimple! YAY.

 

I'm 25 freaking years old. NOT 15. Ugh.

 

Alas, gentle readers, I am doing well. Let's get serious for a minute:

 

I forget how much I really do love eating clean. My body responds so well to it. I know I'm only on Day 2, but I am just such a gigantic fan.

 

I'm seriously loving my new Brooks running shoes. It's like jogging on a cloud (but with more jiggling).

 

I have started a weight lifting regime to tame the wings (you know, the place on your arms where your triceps should be). Thanks Racho for the guidance.

 

And last, but not least - I've started stalking yet ANOTHER person on Instagram, and I ADORE HER HAIR. I have a hair appt. on May 11 and am thinking how nice short hair would be for summer. I would keep my color, but what do y'all think of her cut:

 







Ah. Of course the pic is way small. Mother trucker.

 

 

Anyway, I got werk to do (again, employee of the year...).

Peace & love.

Gettin' down on Friday

Good mornin' ladies & gays! I am avoiding working like the plague, so I thought I'd share with you my last couple of days (and I'll try not to do it in a list).

Let's start with: I CANNOT wait to start cleansing again, I need to clean up these eating habits like  republicans need to clean up their act (I shouldn't have said that...). The worst part is I do really well and then one meal I SNAP & make a bad, bad decision. C'est la vie.

So, Wednesday was Admin Day (I hope you all remembered your lackeys and treated them with decency) - My bosses not only gave me a raise, but $100 for working my butt off (this doesn't count today). I burned through that hundo in about 24 hours and bought these bad boys:

Brooks Adrenaline GTS 13 <3

 

I want to preface this purchase with a little story - Jen & I decided to go shoe shopping last night after work. We were headed to the Eugene Running Company to buy my Brooks Babies, but I knew I was going to have to run on a dreadmill in front of people. So, we stopped at PF Changs first and had a drank. Or two. Remember my story about drunken planks? Try drunken running :) After I purchased my beauties, we may or may not have had just one more drink. WHOOPS.

 

While momma was drinking and spending money like she's Kim Kardashian, my BB was doing this:
 



If you're wondering: yes, it is hard being the mother of the cutest girl in the world.

 

 

I'm sure y'all are wondering why I bought new running shoes (or maybe not, whatev) - but I was wearing these cute little Nike's that are great for general walking or weight lighting, but the second I got on a treadmill or an elliptical, my toesies fell asleep! WTF. So hopefully my Brooks Babies will do work and I can be the champion I was meant to be.

 

Here's another little diddy from this week: has anyone else had Mexican food for lunch and dinner? (that's a stupid question, only the entire country of Mexico) Well, I should not be allowed to have Mexican food twice in one day. I. Cannot. Handle. It. I would BATHE in Mexican food if I could, so when a taco or burrito glances my way, I put it in. my. belly. And then I KEEP EATING. So, Wednesday came - and Shawn & I got Mexican for lunch and then his mom made Mexican food for dinner. And one of those giant choc chip cookies (I had about half the cookie). Was Wednesday a success? No. Was it a failure? No. Why? Because I didn't quit. I haven't given up on this adventure & no matter how many times I fall off the wagon, I will get up and get my ass back in said wagon.

 

^^See that? That is back sweat. That is me driving the damn wagon.

 

 

And just to make your heart smile:

 

 

Tomorrow is the Spring Game for the Oregon Ducks - 3 cans of food to get in and it's donated to Lane County (which means there is less food for me to binge on, yay!). Come support your Ducks! See y'all there...

 

Happy Friday, mother truckers.





 

Updates for everyone!

Good afternoon, gentle readers!

Thought I'd hit you up with a quick update:

1. I am in possession of the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse. One of my besties, Racho, ordered hers today and because she's a major wuss, I have to wait for her.

2. I found (another) neat little equation for finding out how many calories you burn (in case you're too poor like me and can't afford a Garmin):

(weight in lbs.) X (.096) = cals burned per minute

 

Then times the calories burned per minute by how many minutes you work out and voila! You can track them like a crazy person.

 

3. I have epically failed on my running as of late. After hitting two continuous miles, I have struggled ever since. I really need to invest in new running shoes, but as they are pushing $150, I have to save my doll-hairs (thanks Mama Laughlin). It sucks when you're trying to run like freaking Forest Gump and your toes are asleep. Lame.

 

4. I apparently really like lists.

 

Anyway, I went away to Canby this past weekend and had a lovely time. I ate like a cow and drank like a fish, but I went on two long walks so I felt as if I didn't totally undo everything. Except............I may or may not have gotten a chocolate milkshake from Burgerville on the drive home Sunday night. WHOOOOOOOOOOPS.

 

I got to hang out with my "Auntie" Joan (second cousins) who has lost 67 lbs. and looks AMAZE-BALLS. Seriously folks, check her out with my cutie-pie:

 

Joan's story is so inspirational. If any of you are on My Fitness Pal, go find her: jb_2011

 

My fiance is so scary (not).

 

Ok, last but not least - I'm assuming everyone reading this blog is my friend on Facebook (because there's probably like 4 of you and all of you are related to me, I digress...), I have coined "No Weigh May" because 1. I'm a genius and 2. I'm sick and tired of my scale dictating my life. So, join me and my friend, Michelle, in #noweighmay (disclaimer: depending on when I start and finish the Advocare cleanse, I may have to weigh once in May to find out my results...I know, I suck and am uncommitted to that which I preach). In all seriousness, I can't wait to have Shawn hide my scale so I can't drag it out before & after I've eaten dinner to see how much I gained in a single sitting. It's sick, really.

 

So, I'll just leave you with this little diddy:

She's so not the ham I am. Whatevz.

 

Peace out cub scouts!

 

 

 

 



Just some numbers for y'all

Before Advocare Challenge:

1/22/2013
Right Arm: 12.5"
Shoulders: 47.5"
Chest: 45"
Waist: 38.5"
Hips: 44.5"
Right Thigh: 23.5"
Right Calf: 15.5"
Weight: 181.3

After Advocare Challenge:

2/19/2013
Right Arm: 13"
Shoulders: 42"
Chest: 42.75"
Waist: 36"
Hips: 43"
Right Thigh: 21.75"
Right Calf: 14.5"
Weight: 170

Continuing with Advocare and working MY BUTT OFF:

3/12/2013
Right Arm: 12"
Shoulders: 43.5"
Chest: 42"
Waist: 34.5"
Hips: 41.5"
Right Thigh: 22"
Right Calf: 14.5"
Weight: 160.5

Kickin' ass and takin' names.

These are my confessions...

1. No, much to your dismay, I am not Usher.

2. I have not done the 30 Day Shred since April 5th. That would mean I did only 12 days of the THIRTY Day Shred. Not the 12 Day Shred. If only it were that easy.

3. I submitted Rosalie to a Cutest Of Them All Contest on www.kduk.com (our local crap radio station).

4. ^^^I did not tell Shawn.

5. I ate worse than I have since September on Sunday. Hang overs + Aunt Flow = 2 Sausage McMuffins, 2 hash browns, 1 mocha, 4 pieces of pepperoni pizza, 1 bag of Kettle Korn - the Healthy Pop kind. Awesome (womp womp).

6. This morning, instead of grabbing my gym clothes, I just looked at my running shoes and kept on walking.

7. I have had 2 Sparks (www.advocare.com), 2 cups of coffee, and a latte today. My eyeballs still aren't functioning properly.

8. I shamelessly plug my blog. I had to manually sign my mom and my coworkers up to receive it via e-mail. YOU'RE WELCOME.

9. I pick fights with my spouse and then get REALLY butthurt that he gets upset with me. This usually happens once a month. Three guesses why.

10. I'm so lazy that I call Shawn from upstairs to bring me ANYTHING from downstairs.

When I read through these, I get a good chuckle (because I'm damn funny). But ultimately, I see them as the things I need to adjust in my life. Like, maybe don't get so drunk on Saturday night that I have to eat complete JUNK on Sunday (I promise, this is raaaare). And maybe don't excuse being a b*tch to my fiance because I've started my period. But in reality folks, I'm not freaking perfect - I'm just aiming to be the best version of myself.

One last thing: My eating hasn't been great lately. I am going to be cleaning that up again with the Advocare cleanse. I'm REALLY hoping this is going to push me into the 150s! Freaking excited. Watch out summa-time.