Day Eight

After yesterday, I awoke hoping my stomach had settled down to give my body a break. By 11am, it seemed my prayers had been answered. I only pooped once. Compared to the 95 times I went yesterday. Ok, I could bitch about that forever. But instead, let’s rewind a bit. When I woke up this morning I took my probiotic restore and enjoyed a Spark. I was putting off the Fiber drink for when I got to work. Let me tell you what, memory did not serve me well – that sh*t was more god awful than I remember. But thank (enter higher power you believe in here), I only have to drink it 2 more times. After waiting a good hour for my body to process everything I had put it through this morning (Fiber F*ck, pooping), I was finally able to enjoy a good breaky. ½ cup of oafit and an apple. Gosh, I’m so healthy. Aren’t you jelly?

 

After accusing you all of jealousy, I did something bad. One of our Area Manager’s from PDX was in town today, so my boss took us all out to lunch. To Mexican food. I mean, come on. That is just not fair. THEY PUT CHIPS AND SALSA IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE THE SECOND YOU SIT DOWN. And I’m over here like garcon, where is my straw to suck up my salsa? Ugh. Why don’t you just bring out the gauc, sour cream, and queso and let’s call it a day! But I digress, I ordered the chicken carnitas. No tortillas, no beans, no rice. Just chicken with onion & green bell pepper in some kind of tomato sauce. But god help me, I know there was too much fat in that meal. I had to text Michelle, my “sponsor” to confess my sins. She told me it’d be ok – to just keep doing what I’m doing. But this leads me to my next topic:

 

AdvoCare has taught me the healthiest eating habits I have ever learned. And followed – that’s the kicker. I am eating cleanly, about 5 times a day. Not over eating, but not ever letting myself go hungry. Like I told Michelle, a mere week ago I could have eaten the beans, the rice, the tortillas, plus the carnitas. I literally could have inhaled everything on the plate. And we all know the plates at Mexican restaurants, they’re made for Sumo Wrestlers. So I guess we’re headed in the right direction. I am just not happy I ate that. But I won’t let it happen again.

 

The rest of work went by in the blink of an eye. When I got home, I told Shawn that I did not feel like cooking. So what does he do? Eats pizza. FML. But I am strong and I resisted the sight of ooey, gooey cheese & the aroma of sausage & pepperoni. Not without giving Shawn the stink eye for the majority of dinner. At one point he asked if I was ok. Oh you know, just let me wipe the drool off of my chin…In all honesty, I really was ok. I ate broccoli & 2 Morningstar Farms veggie sausage patties. I was completely satisfied with that. And those sausage patties are delish. I grew up on those bad boys & absolutely love them. Y’all should give them a try!

 

So I’m hearing from all over the world that I talk about pooping too much. AGAIN: PEOPLE THIS IS A CLEANSE. AND I AM DOCUMENTING IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS ON A CLEANSE? IT’S NOT ALL RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS. IT’S FAR MORE ABOUT SH*TS & GIGGLES. Ay yi yi. But for the faint of heart, I guess I can tone it down a bit. Although, I feel as if I am being VERY poetic when it comes my poop talk. Put your minds at ease, gentle readers, I will lay off the poop talk for a day. Or two. Depends how good you are.

 

After dinner, I was pretty much dead to the world. Got Ro down & I read my book for an hour before zonking out. Oh btw, I did not go to the gym today, as you may have noted. After 6 days in a row, I needed a mini break. I’ll be back at it tomorrow. Nobody panic.

 

FOOD LOG of January 29, 2013

Breakfast: Probiotic, Spark, Fiber drink, oatfit, apple

Morning snack: protein bar, 3 pieces of jerky

Lunch: Chicken carnitas

Dinner: 2 Morningstar Farm veggie patties, broccoli

 

WATER LOG of January 29, 2013

176 oz of water

Pee count: 963

Poop count: 4