Angles are EVERYTHING

Whoa, two days in a row??!?!?!

Today I am going to talk about angles. You see, in this wonderful world (irony), we have filters, editing shit, cropping, and the beauty of taking selfies so when the first one sucks the 100th one will be perfect.
I think I have done a pretty good job of hiding my weight gain from the people who don't see me in person.
So, I apologize for omitting the truth from y'all.

Yesterday I promised you guys some pics.
Here goes nothin'...

Proof I have started working out again

(the ugly-in-the-car-after-the-gym-selfie)

Shawn is working on his angles here.

Look at dem jaw bones.

I MEAN...

Rosalie also has a real flair for selfies.

CROPPED.

GOOD ANGLE.

(drunk)

Whoa nelly.

Bad angle. Hellor arms!

And the cutest girl in the world who don't need no cropping, angles, or filters.

So there you have it.

A collection of pics that prove that angles are everything.

Luckily, I am on day 3 of logging food on MFP and working out so I don't need to worry so much about my angles!

Starting Over

I let go, guys.
I completely lost all motivation and any desire I had to achieve a fit/healthy/happy life.
Not to say I'm not happy! Because I am - I am in love, my friends and family are doing great things, I have the best child one could ask for, and I am kicking ass at school...but with all those things, I stopped working out, started eating what and whenever I wanted, and the alcohol - oh, the alcohol.
When I first started losing weight, I cut out alcohol, because well...empty calories and the "I don't care, I'm going to eat because I am drinking" mentality.
All that on top of quitting smoking, and I'm only 10 lbs. lighter than I was when I first decided to lose weight.
You do the math.

The plan?
I joined the gym and I've started back on MFP (follow me, greener3313).
I am so happy with my life and how it's all turning out - but I am uncomfortable in my own skin.
I don't like pictures of me and I don't like any of my clothes.
Why is it so hard to manage this lifestyle?
The sad part is, is every time you lose weight and then gain it back - it's twice as hard to lose it again. So bear with me on this endeavor.
I think that blogging on a regular basis helped me last time, so I'm going to try and get back to that as much as possible.

That all being said, I need your guys' help!
Harass me about blogging, harrass me about what I'm eating...y'all know I'm an open book and my fans (haha) help me with staying consistent and honest.

Hope I find you well! See you tomorrow. WITH PICS.

It's too damn early. YOLO.

Oh my GAWD. I am awake at 4:45 am.
I blame Shawn (he has to get to work hella ((yes, I just said hella)) early & this morning he woke me up with his loud-man ways).
So here we are - I'm watching Cuthroat Kitchen, drinking coffee, & thought, I guess I'll blog!
(And by blog I mean post a bunch of pics - like usual)

Let's rewind to a couple of weeks ago...

Shawn & I took Rosalie to Florence for the day.

It was her first time at the coast!

She was a little skeptical at first, but got over it real quick.

Obviously had to get the classic beach-foot pic.

Shawn had no idea how to do it. 

It was ridiculous.

After a while, we drove up to Newport to take RoBo to the aquarium.

HOLY COW! She looooooved it.

Is that not the most adorbs sea star you've ever seen?

She said she was Patrick (from SpongeBob SquarePants).

About a week later, Rosalie got to spend the weekend with Gramma & Grandpa.

She got her first tricycle (or as she likes to call it, her motorcycle - girl can't even pedal).

I chopped my hair again.

Ohmygerrrrd, feels so good.

#momhairdontcare

While Ro stayed with my parents, I headed up to Clackamas to cohost my friend Rachel's Lingerie Shower.

Luke (^^^^) was super helpful.

Me, Luke, & his wife Lame. 

We were delirious at this point, I think.

And here's a selfie.

And here's another one.

And here is a pic of Rachel (the bride to be), me & Niki.

I didn't take anymore pictures because I was busy drinking.

Sorrrrrry.

When I got home from up north, Shawn and I had a busy day of graduation parties, Messy Church, and hanging with his fambam.

We may have both been a little hung over (hence the awesome smiles).

Braden, my nephew, is obsessed with YOLO.

I find it funny. He sidewalk-chalked #YOLO at Messy Church.

Word, man.

A few days later, Shawn & Ro had a daddy-daughter date.

He sent me the creepiest pic of her eating ice cream.

THAT'S MY GIRL! You can't expect us to try & look cute when we are eating!

Um, I got a manicure.

And then a few more days later, we took the kids to the family day/rodeo prep/thingie.

They had a blast.

Katelyn, Braden, & Rosalie.

RoBo got her face painted.

She did really well, I was impressed.

Her red horse *which she requested*

We were trying to get Rosalie to look at Katelyn (because they had matching horses), but home-girl is a ham and had to cheese for the camera.

#YOLO

She loved sitting on the fake horses!

And that's been my summer so far.

It's been great!

We are going to the Rodeo on Thursday evening. I've never been to a rodeo. I'm gonna love it or I'm gonna hate it. Either way, I really need cowboy boots (Shawn disagrees) (YOLO). 

Well, I'm gonna get back to my Cuthroat Kitchen and my coffee.

Hope everyone is enjoying summmmmmmmaaaatiiiiiiiime!

Okay, okay one more:

CUTEST THING EVER.

Survey (just like the old days)

Mama Laughlin did this survey on her blog today - & I thought...well I haven't blogged in A MONTH so I'll provide my fans with some humor. Or honesty. Or both (how exciting).

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Damn, my hair is awesome. Thanks DDavids1

2. When is the next time you will have sex? None of ya bidness!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? Whore.

4. Favorite planet? Earth. Duh.

 

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? Shawn Patrick Harry Hogan

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? I am far too lazy for that shit. But if I did have a ringtone, it would be "Talk Dirty To Me" by Jason Derulo. Because I think it would be funny.

7. What shirt are you wearing? I am actually only wearing a sports bra (because I worked out today!) (ooooh, saucy).

8. Do you "label" yourself? Label myself as freaking awesome.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Barefoot, baby!

10. Bright or Dark Room? If I am asleep, obvi dark. If I am awake, obvi light. Who freaking cares?

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Pretty much LOVE her.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? I'm sorry, wtf?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Probably dreaming about Kimye. For some reason, I keep having dreams about Kanye & Kim Kardashian. I am clearly weird.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? I can leave soon.

 

5. Where is your letter box? As in my mail box? Just around the riverbend.

16. What's a word that you say a lot? Totes

17.Who told you he/she loved you last? Shawn

18. Last furry thing you touched? Rosalie's rocking horse.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Alcohol & Caffeine (somebody arrest me)

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? SO many rolls

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 26

22. Your worst enemy? The Washington Huskies

23. What is your current desk top picture? A pic of me, Shawn, Ro, & Sarah (SISTA WIVES)

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? We need to take a shower, Ro, we are 'tinky.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take? Def flying. That would make me a million bucks.

26. Do you like someone? I like you.

27. The last song you listened to? Uhhh, I don't remember...Rosalie & I are watching "UP" so something in that.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? Absolutely.

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be? Actually no one. That must mean I've made pretty good life choices about the people in my life. I'm GROWING UP!

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?  My other foot

Rosalie & I hope you have a wonderful day!

PHOTO DUMP.

Title says all.
Here are all of the pics since I got my iPhone 5s.
Enjoy!

Shawn & I...

Gotta love my lazy eye.

I'm trying to figure out my next tattoo.

I've always loved Old English font & thought an "R" for Rosalie would be cool.

I'm still undecided.

Shawn & I got to meet this little guy!

His name his Kingsley and he is a MUFFIN.

After he left, I asked Shawn if he wanted to go make a baby.

^^No, I am not prego.

Rosalie, Shawn, Me, Kingsley and his fab parents: Stephanie & Austin

Mother's Day

Not the most flattering pic - but this is my pseudo-nephew, Braden.

He taught Shawn about cheese-cupping (which is cupping your fart and throwing it in someone's face) - clearly he is the coolest little guy around town.

I. Die.

Mother's Day again. 

It was grand.

Nowadays I spend ALL of my time in the Science Resource Center (SRC) at Lane.

We have to have some fun. This orange peel was a complete accident!

Yes, we are all 12 year old boys.

This is my super cool lunch pale that all my student-friends make fun of.

Whatevz, it's insulated and pink.

Rosalie is all about the photoshoots these days.

I'm usually a willing participant.

Sarah's mom (Jeanine) had a fab birthday party that we stopped by at, last week.

Above is our family portrait.

#SISTERWIVES

Niki was in town over the last weekend for her boyfriend's graduation.

I miss that bitch.

This is a picture of a flower.

You're welcome.

Rosalie just being a paddy-gone.

I don't know what it means either, but she is always calling Shawn & I "paddy-gones".

^^^HOLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAA

Somebody freaking make these for me...

(I'M TALKIN' TO YOU RACH)

Hahaha, I seriously don't know where she get's it.

Her faces are the best.

The next few pics need a little explanation.

My friend, Amy, group-text Niki & I, complaining that she needed more pics of us together.

Naturally I shot her a selfie.

Niki followed suit.

Amy brought up the rear.

And me, being the brilliant, creative evil genius that I am, assembled a triage of pics which I would consider my masterpiece.

Obviously, I only manipulated the picture of Lamy.

If you go to my Facebook and check out my (and Kenzie's) album titled "Lamy (Jan) Borgen 'Gabriel'", you'll understand why.

And last but not least, this pic represents what I am currently doing. 

I'm on Day 9 of the cleanse & am ready to BE DONE.

I miss you cheese.

Love,

Michelle

Pork chops and pigs and fatties

So.

A couple of things.

Did everyone know I smoked up until November?
NO? Whoops! Surprise!
Well, since I've quit - I have gained TWENTY POUNDS.

Since Shawn and I got back together, I have been enjoying cocktails and homemade meals and fresh-baked goods and little to no exercise.
^^^^All of this = NOT FEELING TOO HOT

It's sad folks, I can't really even weasel my way into some of last summer's tank tops.
So I've decided to be proactive (because I really have no other choice).
I am not drinking this month (I've only slipped up twice - I accidentally ordered a margarita a couple weeks ago and maaaaaybeeee had a few too many on Mother's Day - WHAT YOU GONNA DO?).
And I started an Advocare Cleanse on Monday (making today the end of day 4).

The cleanse is going pretty well.
No major slip-ups so far.

After this term, which ends June 12th for me, I will have so much more time to exercise, blog, see my friends and family...I cannot wait.
Bio & Chem ARE MY LIFE.
Not kidding. And even though this summer is packed full of weddings and shit, I plan on taking it easy. Holla at me honey boo boo.

Okay, I promise I'll check in real soon.
But until then, here is something to sink your chops into:

And by chops I am referring to pork.

And by pork, I mean pig.

And by pig, I mean FAT.

<3

Tonight. I am happy. And that is good.

I have so many musings right now.

Probably because I'm doing Chemistry homework, just read The Hungry Runner Girl's blog, am watching House Hunters, and drinking whiskey...but I am feeling so happy.

WHY!?!

Why - HOW - could anyone be happy with all the horrible things that happen every day? That happen  to them every day?

Reading Janae's blog (she is an AMAZING runner who recently got divorced) took me back to when Shawn and I ended things.
I feel fortunate because I can officially say, we are back together.
But again, reading her blog took me back to when Shawn & I were apart. And I felt like everyday I woke up and I was sinking.
I feel so happy to be at a place where I see that the sunken ship came after we hit the iceberg. And now we've made way out of the lifeboat and onto dry land and are getting over (ohhhh, let's just use.........) Titanic.
I know that sounds cheesy and like I'm bullshitting you...but I'm not.
Both Shawn and I are making a conscious effort to WORK on our relationship.
ERRRRRDAY.

It makes all the difference in the world.
What a shock ;)

So that's one thing that's going on in my head right now.
Roll your eyes & sigh or clap & be joyous. It doesn't matter.

Tonight. I am happy. And that is good.