Funky Friday

There is nothing funky about this Friday, but it was the only alliteration I could come up with.
Oh! The life of a blogger.

Anywho - I did not got to the gym yesterday because my ass & hammy's were burning like an inferno. I did 3 sets of 15 dead lifts with a 35lb. bar on Wednesday morning.
Oh my gerrrrrrrrrrrrrrd. I was in misery. So yeah, 'twas a gymless Thursday which means I again went over my allotted calories. Urgh.

When I got in my car to go home from work last night, the sun was poking out through the clouds, so I reached to put my stunna shades on:

Boooooo.

Boooooo again.

 

Now I have to go get them repaired because they're prescription & cost me a pretty penny. S.O.B!

 

When I got home, I had mail awaiting me on the kitchen table. Does anyone else LOVE getting mail? I'm serious, I feel like it's freaking Christmas morning every time. Unless said mail reads: IMMEDIATE ATTENTION: YOU OWE US MONEY. I opened my little package in three year old fashion, tossing the plastic at Ro to distract her from taking away from my moment (mother of the year). This is what I got:

 

It has my favorite things: 'Merica, Chevron, & OREGON <3

 

My friend Kenzie sent it to me, because she loves me so much & likes to treat me well. What can I say? I have great friends. So thank you Kahnz. I love it!

 

 

After feeding my daughter a bowl of ketchup with some chicken for dinner, we went upstairs for bath time. After her jammies were on, she attacked my full length mirror with kisses.

 

Hogan says she looks like the Joker.

R.I.P Heath

 

 

Just like momma, she loves her reflection.

Word.

 

Again, my bedtime was that of an 80 year old and I'm pretty sure I was asleep by 9:30. Hey, playas gotta play, mommas gotta snooze.

 

Today is Rosalie's last day at Michelle's house. I'm really sad because I get pics like this everyday:

 

Right?

 

I'm gonna miss having her as a sitter. She made me comfortable going back to work when Rosalie was 8 mos. old. She also changed my life with Advocare and has become an amazing shoulder to cry on. So thank you Michelle! We love you and your fambam.

 

I know. Sad stuff.

 

Let me perk you up with a little eye candy:

 

Eat it up.

 

And last, but not least - my favorite text message I received last night:

 

 

Happy Friday! Make it rain.

**PS I accidentally hit "Publish" randomly in this blog post, so if you get an e-mail with a half assed blog, I apologize.





 





 

 



Saucy Town, USA

GOOD MORNING PARTY PEOPLE.

I was in bed and asleep by approximately 8:30 pm last night.

 

Shawn is so lucky to have such a sexy fiancée.

Check out that lingerie!

Saucy Town, USA

Too bad I forgot my gym bag at work yesterday with my make up, straightener, shampoo and conditioner. Now I look like this today:

 

 

Just a quick side note - anybody see the family resemblance?

 

She will have my neck for this.

Sorry ma.

 

 

When I got home from work yesterday, Shawn, Ro, & I went grocery shopping. I told Shawn I didn't want to spend more than $75. And without adding anything up (I can't do math), I spent $75.30. I KNOW, RIGHT? Holla.

 

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Rosalie is the exact opposite of me - SHE WON'T EAT ANYTHING. So weird. But I heard through the grapevine (her babysitter) that she was eating chicken nuggets with ketchup at her house. So I bought said nuggets & ketchup (we didn't have any because I avoid condiments like the plague):

 

Success! She ate 4 (after she marinated them in ketchup).

 

I went over my caloric limit yesterday (I only get like 1296 these days #skinnygirlproblems).....I burned like 560 yesterday morning and I was a freaking bottomless pit. I hate days like that. I didn't help the situation by eating tortellini with Alfredo sauce last night - but I used LIGHT Alfredo sauce...so that counts, right? Luckily today is going better on the foodie front & I'm currently grossing my coworker, Jill, out with my "nasty stuff in the fridge".

 

Naked Green Machine, anyone?

I made her try it. She's EATING HER WORDS. :)

 

 

So...the other morning when I stayed home with Rosalie (because she had a fever), I was trying to catch up on my blogs on my phone. When searching for Skinny Meg's blog, I came across a chatroom of sorts that focused solely on dissing her & Mama Laughlin. Now, I get it, not everybody likes the same thing - but to be so mean without even knowing the person is a horrible thing to do. What did I do? I wrote her an e-mail. Haha, I know I don't know these ladies, but they help me everyday. So I felt it was my duty.

 

Here is what I wrote:

Hi Skinnymeg (I can’t just call you Megan),

 I just felt inclined to write & tell you how much I admire you. I was home with my daughter yesterday morning, so I was searching for your blog on my iPhone rather than my computer at work (employee of the year) and I came across a forum where it seems people gather to say mean things about other people. Needless to say, I started reading some of the entries people had posted – I’ve read (one of the million places I follow you & ML) that y’all have seen this type of stuff posted online (or wherever). I simply stopped reading it after about 4 or 5 different (ridiculous) entries about this & that. The fact that you still wake up every morning, go to the gym, go to work, take care of your family, and still manage to rock floral pants is something to respect. Whatever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? I guess I felt I need to write & thank you for powering through the bullshit, because people like me look forward to reading what you have to write or listening to what you have to say. It inspires me every day. I’ve lost 40 lbs since September. I found you and ML in January and have never looked back. So thank you for being you!

 Michelle Hiskey



And here is how she responded (YES! SHE RESPONDED!):

Hey Michelle,

    Thank you for taking the time to email me :) I know, some people obviously have wayyyyy to much time on their hands. I was really hurt when I first read it, then they started talking about Madison's weight and I was so angry, but I realized that they don't KNOW me and they are just looking for things to gab about. It's sad when you have to cut someone else down to make yourself feel better. Anyways, thank you thank you for this email :)

 Megan



************

This just goes back to my sob story. Take the time to compliment someone. Or tell them how you appreciate them. It's so worth it.

 

I'll sign off with this fab pic of me & my gurl:

 

WE LOVE YOU!

 







So What Wednesday (again)

So what if I like staring at my feet (the skinniest part of my bod)?

 

 

So what if I take a pic of myself nearly every time I pee?

 

 You're welcome Jill :)

 

So what if I chew from multiple packs of gum all day, everyday? And so what if I smack it like Akon ft. Eminem?

And so what if I can't figure out how to flip the pic?

 

So what if I take pics of myself working out - and instead of turning out like this:

 

 

They turn out like this:

 

 

So what if my desk is a train wreck that Barbie puked all over?

 









 

 

So what if this is one of my favorite songs to work out to:



My dad would disown me.

 

And finally...so what if your very best friend in the whole world has to continuously remind you to book a room for her wedding?

 

...so what when she calls you at work to remind you again but you beat her to the punch with a sticky note:

 

See? I'm a good friend.

 

Well. I'm out of funny things to say and tired of snapping random photos at work. Luckily my boss is on the other side of planet on vaca (because that would stop me). Holla!









Repercussions

Posting my sob story was a tiny bit intimidating.
And I'm sure I could have gone on and on with more examples of what they did and how it made me feel, but I wanted it short, sweet, & to the point.
I didn't post it for sympathy or empathy (I always get those mixed up - like donation & contribution. Yes, there is a difference). I posted it to get it out there - to get it off my chest.
Of course I've talked to friends and family about it over the years...some get it, some don't.
And that's ok.
I got a text from a friend that said "I want to apologize for pushing you to 'get over it'."

I don't feel like she's ever really pushed me to get over it...but I understood when she said:

"I just don't want those people to have power over you." 


I get that. 100%.
I look at my friends and family - the people I love most in the world and think I don't want your demons to have ANY kind of power of you. Drugs, alcohol, scales, moms, dads, friends, exes, food, brothers, sisters, BULLIES.
But then you wake up and realize that we're only human and we're effected (affected? THERE IT IS AGAIN! Damn you, English language!) by everything.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
So does it suck that I still shake when I write these stories down?
Yes.
But has it made me a better person? Mom? Daughter? Friend? Girlfriend (fiancée - whatever, that word is SO fancy)? YES IT HAS.

The outpouring from my sob story post was incredible. My blog views, like, doubled (such a valley girl). I got texts, messages and comments and all sorts of likes on Facebook which always makes me feel very popular ;). But there was a common theme of LOVE and SUPPORT that really resonated with me. And I want to thank everyone who reached out to me with a kind word or took time to thumbs up my post (lazy asses - kidding).

I'll try & keep these serious posts to a minimum. They're so much more work than my regular blogs filled with pics of my cute kid, the food I eat, and my awesome wit.

And on that note, I'll just leave you with some sweet photos of my sick baby (who will still endure a photo shoot with momma like a damn champ):

Sleeping on momma

Being awesome with momma

 

 

Alright y'all. That'll do it! Look for a second post today - I'm feeling wordy. Stay tuned............

My Sob Story

Alright: let's just launch right into this.

After we moved from Eugene to Canby in 1st grade, I started gaining weight.
After my parents divorced in the 3rd grade, I really started gaining weight.
By 5th grade I had a bad haircut & unnecessary weight on my bod.

That's where it started.

I grew up in a small town - where the groups at school were broken down into very cliché clicks. The popular girls, the good girls, the different ethnicities (no. really.), the popular boys, the jocks...etc. etc.

I would have categorized myself has a good girl. I went to school and did well. I didn't have sex. I didn't do drugs. I didn't party (unless you count LOTR marathons with Kenzie). I pretty much obeyed my parents. Back in elementary school - I don't even think there was such a thing as "naughty" girls, although I'm sure I was just too naïve to realize it.

Anyway, a boy who shall go unnamed made fun of the way I walked - telling me I "waddled" when we were in 5th grade. Our parents got involved and let's just say he never forgave me for it. Fast forward to high school: he became one of the popular boys & I stayed a "good girl". Over the course of high school he tormented me with his a$$hole friends.

Anybody remember AIM? He would create different user names and send me IMs calling me a fat b*tch and ugly.

Sophomore year, I went out to my car one morning and there was dog crap thrown all over it. And some was even put under the handle, so when I opened the door, I got poo all over my hand.

Junior year, he and his friends called me from a blocked number over and over again to call me fat and tell me how ugly I was.

I can't tell you how much this hurt me. Even typing this, I'm shaking a little. He was a bully. His friends were bullies. In homeroom one of them called me a dog. Just to get a laugh out of his friend. Nowadays, as an "adult" (we'll use that term loosely), I read articles and see news stories about 6th, 7th, 8th graders committing suicide because of bullying. Thank GOD I had an amazing group of friends who were always there for me (and still are).

But, I get it. I understand wanting to not exist anymore so you can escape from the humiliation! It's a horrible way to live - and maybe one of the reasons I've never moved back home.

A few years ago, I was at a bar with my friend Erik (who some people think is really attractive, to me, he's just my bro) and I saw one of the "popular boys". I am not kidding, I nearly burst into tears. I MADE Erik hold my hand and stay with me, because I. Was. So. Afraid.

These kids scarred me for life. And if ANYBODY ever messes with my kid that way, you can bet your bottom dollar I will intervene. Nobody deserves that kind of cruelty. And what's even worse, is I wasn't their only victim. I wasn't even the most targeted victim. But I still was a victim.

To this day (I am 25 years old and graduated SEVEN years ago), I still have some of these boys blocked on Facebook. So they can't find me. So they can never hurt me again.

Until Rosalie was born, I hated all things girlie. Despised pink, heels, and all things feminine. I think ultimately, I thought I had to hide myself. I used all defense mechanisms - from long hair to hide behind, baggy sweatshirts with no shape, and no make up - to draw less attention to myself.

Since having my daughter and knowing Shawn, I have never had more confidence or felt more beautiful than I do today. I am so lucky and so blessed to have the family & friends that I do - because without them, I could have been one of those horror stories you read on Yahoo!

It terrifies me thinking that someday Rosalie will be made fun of. It's inevitable. But I hope to raise her with the right tools - grace, self worth, health-conscious with a side of badass - to be above it.

I read something the other day on Mama Laughlin's blog. It read: Hurt people hurt people. Took me a sec, but then I got it. I think everyone can be touched by that. Because everyone has been hurt by somebody. Take time out of your day to tell someone they're beautiful. Or handsome. OR WHATEVER. And maybe they'll take off those oversized clothes & decide that they're worth the time and effort for time and effort (you get me?).

Anyway - that's my sob story. Take a note from CSNY and teach your children well.

Just another part of my journey!

MILF Day/Mother's Day

Good morning peeps.

I want to start with an apology, I am out of Spark and out of money, therefore my brain is not functioning properly. So bear with me.

This weekend was FAB. Let's rewind to Friday, shall we?

I got off work at 4:30, mainly because I was so whiney and wanted to get the hell out of the office. Mal & Sarah came over and played with me and Ro for the evening. We maybe ended up at TCBY. I #blogfailed (haha) and took NO pics of our evening. Let's just say it consisted of the kid's size 98% fat free raspberry frozen yogurt, cheesecake bites, and strawberries. DELISH.

Saturday I traveled North to celebrate Mother's Day with mi madre. We got our hurr did, our toesies did, and I got a boob lift in the form of a 36 D bra (I used to be a 40 DDDDDDDDDXXXX - the tots were GINORMOUS).

Wet rat look.

 

Goodbye long, damaged hair.

 

The finished product.

 

I have to admit, during the process I doubted my hair stylist/good friend Danielle. For a while we decided I looked like Johnny Depp in Willy Wonka.

No, I did not take a comparison pic. Just trust me.

 

 

Once she finished, I apologized for ever doubting her. Because now instead of looking like this every day of my life:

Wet hurr in bad messy bun.

 

I look actually look put together. Amaze-balls.

 

 

I simply adore it. And if anyone needs a good hair stylist, I recommend Danielle with http://blownouthairstudio.com/ in Keizer. She listens to what you want (me worried to death that my face will look fat) and will talk you through everything. Love that gurl. Hit her up.

 

Sunday was MILF Day. I mean Mother's Day. Whatevz. 'Twas a nice day with Shawn's fambam. I took some pics for you, gentle readers, so you can ooh & aww over all the cuteness:

 



Ok, I didn't take this one. But it's still cute.

 

My faves.

 

We walked down & fed the ducks Sunday morning.

 

Laughing with GG Papa.

 

And cousin KayKay pulled out her loose tooth. It was an ordeal.

 

 

So I have a blog coming up that is going to seem REALLY sad and low. But it's not - it's just a part of my journey that I feel inclined to share. Look for it soon!

 

Also, remember my friend Rachel? The girl who supports me unconditionally, laughs at my jokes about assholes (the body part, NOT the men), and sends me awesome pics of herself working out? Well she's blogging now. Go check her out here: http://raekayejay.blogspot.com/

 

Hope everyone had a fab Mother's Day!

 

 

 



 

 

So What Wednesday?

So what if I flex my muscles every time I look in the mirror to see if there is any more definition?

P.S There's not.

However, I am SUPER sore today from doing 3 reps of 20 push ups yesterday. Girlie ones too. Like Jill said, it's like a mini boob lift. Holla.

Anyway. I ate my weight in Mexican food last night & drank a margarita the size of my head. I have pooped 4 times today (you're welcome).

Be jealous that your fiancé doesn't flair his nostrils every time you take his pic.

 

I may or may not have forgot to put my bra back on when we went to dinner. Whoooooops.

 

Stop taking pics of me mom.

 

 

Yesterday morning I woke up at 5am to go to the gym. If I could, I would do this every day of the week. But Shawn is usually at work before 5, he works 4 10's and has Wednesday off, meaning momma gets to get her sweat on. A couple of weeks ago, I posted on FB that I needed new workout music & an old friend of mine told me to try out "Shoop" radio on Pandora. Well, I did. And this is what I got:

 

  
          
The Humpty Dance, Whatta Man, and None of Your Business. I'm sure the 80 year olds at the gym LOVED my singing, but HOLY COW. I WAS ROCKING. So fun. Y'all need to try it out!  


Unfortunately, I have not ran in 2 days because I have become a victim of shin splints. Anyone remember my epic journey to Walmart? Yeah, that MESSED. ME. UP. Just one more reason I hate that place. I'm going to the gym on my lunch today and I am PRAYING TO MICHAEL KORS that I can run. The elliptical is just not the same.       

And just in case you wanted to see me in all my glory at 5am: 

Before work out

 

After work out

 

BTWz, I had my first latte today since I ended the cleanse and our GM bought it for me (because I don't carry cash, not because he loves me). I snapped this beaut to brighten your day:

 

I know, right?

 

 

Last but not least, I want to share some numbers with everyone!

 

 

Before 2nd Advocare 10 Day Cleanse (from April 17th, because I forgot to measure right before I started, like a right idiot):

 

Weight: 162 (this is the correct weight, however)

Right Arm: 12"                                                      

Shoulders: 43.5"

Chest: 42"

Waist: 34.5"

Hips: 41.5"

Right Thigh: 22"

Right Calf: 14.5"



Total: 210 inches

And measurements today, Cleanse completed, 5/9/2013:

Weight: 156
Right Arm:12.5"
Shoulders: 43"
Chest: 41"
Waist: 34"
Hips: 40"
Right Thigh: 20"
Right Calf: 14.5"
Total: 205 inches

Lost: 5 inches, 6lbs.

I think that about sums it up, folks.
And just remember: tomorrow is Friday.